We navigated the market until we found an area selling cooked meals, wrapped up neatly into small bundles. Some had rice, or noodles, and each vendor was selling a different variety of meats and spices. We picked out nine bundles of food, and also bought nine bottles of water nearby. Finally, we bought nine jasmine bouquets and set off down the street.

Buddhist monks in Thailand are not allowed to possess cash, so they survive on donations of food and supplies. Each morning, all the monks walk through town in their orange robes and the Thai people offer them everything they need.

When we saw a couple monks approaching, we showed them our food, and they showed us if they wanted it. As a male, I was allowed to give food directly to each monk, by handing it to them or placing it inside a large pot they were carrying. Since monks are not allowed to touch a female, they carry an offering cloth to spread on the ground. Women can put food inside the cloth and then they monk can pick up the cloth.

After we offered our gifts of food, water, and jasmine to each monk, we took off our shoes and kneeled down in the street, our noses to the ground, to receive our blessing. The monks would chant in unison. Since my eyes were closed, and I could not understand much of what they were saying, as the chant went on I was free to take in the rest of the experience. There I am, in a village on the other side of the world, receiving a blessing from a Buddhist monk in the middle of the street, before sunrise. It was another surreal moment for me, that I’ll always remember. The pain of concrete against my knees and feet, the rhythmic sound of their chant, and the smell of jasmine around us. When the chant ended, I would wait for Joy to finish her prayer and sit up before I opened my eyes and stood up next to her. By this time, the monks were often gone, around the corner or down an alley, making it all the more surreal. But the scent of Jasmine remained.

We repeated this ritual, called “merit making” for nine monks that morning, before returning home. Making offerings to monks is an important part of the Buddhist religion, and the traditional start to a Thai wedding. The Thai people believe that a couple who makes merit together will be reunited in their future lives.

When we return home, I see that the preparation has begun. (The traditional Thai wedding is held at home) And there are people everywhere – setting up the stage, arranging tables and chairs, washing dishes. In America, these people would be hired from an event company, but here they are family, friends, and neighbors. I felt honored to have all these people working so hard, just as a favor, for somebody they didn’t even know. But this is another central part of Thai culture – taking joy in generosity.

Inside the house, the women are already busy constructing the “wedding tree” – called a Bai Sri. This elaborate decoration is made of intricately folded and woven banana leaves, jasmine flowers, and others. It seems to take a whole day to create, with many women chipping in.

When all of the preparations are complete, it’s time for the main ceremony to begin. In the Thai ceremony, most of the attention and pageantry focuses on the groom. The bride merely waits at home to be given away by her parents. Traditionally, the groom walks in a long parade through the village from his house to the bride’s. In modern times, the bride and groom often don’t live close enough for this to be practical, so another place will substitute for the groom’s house. In my case, I definitely live too far away so a neighbor down the street offers up his house. My parents and I wait there, with the sin sod (bride price) bowls. These are tied up with brightly colored mesh, and remind me of Easter baskets.

As is common in Asia, there is a monetary transaction during Thai weddings. The groom must negotiate with the bride’s parents a fair price to “purchase” her hand in marriage. The bride’s parents will take into account the bride’s education, beauty, personality, background, age, and social status, as well as the groom’s wealth. The money is meant to show respect to the bride’s family, love to the bride, and prove that the groom is capable of supporting his family.

Finally we get the signal to begin the wedding procession from my house to the bride’s. In more elaborate ceremonies, the groom arrives on horseback or via elephant, but I opt to go on foot. There are many people in front of us in the procession, screaming and singing, to draw attention from the whole village, and announce to the bride that we were on our way. (see example video here) It sounded like random screaming to me at the time, but I’ve since learned that it’s a standard announcement made during wedding ceremonies. (click here to hear the sound!) These people are typically the grooms friends & family, bearing food, money, and gifts.

As we approached the bride’s home, we were stopped by the “silver gate”, symbolized by a chain held up by children from the bride’s family. This is a part of the Thai wedding custom, where the bride’s family attempts to keep the groom away from the bride. At each gate, the children ask if the groom is good enough, and wealthy enough, to deserve and take care of the bride. So the gatekeepers must be “bribed” into letting us pass, with gifts of gold and money. At first they refuse because the amount is not enough, but eventually they dropped the chain letting us through. Closer to the house, we met more children holding a chain, this time the “golden gate” which took even more money to pass. Each time a gate opens, the crowd cheers.

Finally, we were granted access to the bride’s house, and Joy met me at the door. Here the bride shows respect, allegiance, and gratitude to the groom by bowing, and washing his hands and feet with special water. This is also to symbolize the washing away of the groom’s old life, so he can enter the bride’s house with a clean slate.

Once inside, the bride and groom sit down with the groom’s parents and bride’s parents for the presentation of the sin sot (bride price). Many people try to pack into the room to see the drama, despite it being about 120 degrees. The decorated bundles of money and jewels are opened by the groom’s parents and presented to the bride’s parents. A man with a microphone is giving the audience a play-by-play of everything that is being said and done. There is a little symbolic negotiation, and finally the amounts are announced to everybody. (The bride’s parents show off the amount their daughter is worth). Next, we exchange rings. This isn’t part of the traditional ceremony, but has been added in modern times. Lastly, we bow down to both sets of parents with our nose to the ground.

Finally we can get off the floor and sit down in a chair. The village elder talks for what seems like an hour, before anointing us with white holy powder in lines and dots on our foreheads, pouring special holy water over our hands, and laying a thick white rope on our heads (Sai Monkon). Threaded flower garlands are placed around our necks. These garlands are made up of “dog ruk” (love flower), “dog ban mai ru roey” (forever-lasting flower) and “dog dowruang” (shining star flower).

Next, is the thread ceremony (phiti bai sri su kwan). Each guest (starting with family members) approaches us and is given a special string from the wedding tree by the bride’s sister, about eight inches long. (It’s the same type of holy string used for blessings by monks). The guest ties one end of the string around my wrist, and the other around the bride’s. While they are tying, they give us blessings and wishes (The most popular wishes we received were for great fortune, and many children). The strings are tied very tight, and by the time each guest has had their turn, our wrists are completely covered in string, and it’s becoming more difficult for each guest to successfully tie a knot.

After the elder said a few more words, the bride’s parents led us upstairs to the bedroom, with all the guests following behind us, and packing into the room as many people as possible, to get a look. The bed is “blessed” ahead of time, by the eldest longest-married couples, in an attempt to bring their same good luck and fertility to us. When we finally sit on the bed, still tied together at the wrist, the crowd cheers. I’ve learned that this is the official moment the new couple becomes husband and wife. Everybody is packed into the room, trying to take photos, and many guests want to sit next to us and get their photos taken with us in the bed. This part is called “Hong Haw”

When the photos are done, we are given a moment to lie back on the bed. When our time us up, we are asked to break each string in the middle, one by one, so that the ends of the strings are still tied around our wrists. With our free hands, we separate each string from the clump, and pull hard to break it. It’s not too bad at first, but dozens of strings later, it’s become quite painful as the thin strings cut into our fingers. This completes the wedding ceremony, and all that remains is the reception.

The Thai wedding reception is similar to the western tradition. There is dinner, music, and dancing. I only noticed a few differences. At the start of dinner the bride and groom walks around to thank each and every guest individually with a small gift. At this time, the guests may give the couple a small envelope with money. Also, many guests will offer the groom a drink, which he’s obligated to take.

People all over Thailand construct small floating rafts, called krathong, out of banana tree trunks, leaves, flowers, and other decorations.  They add lighted candles and incense, make a wish and let the krathong float away on the river.  This ritual is a way of saying thanks to the goddess of the river, for good luck, and also a symbolic way of letting go of all your grudges and anger, letting the bad parts of yourself go.   Examples of krathong can be seen here, here, and here.

Loy Krathong is sometimes known as the festival of light, due to the hundreds of glowing kratongs floating downstream, the fireworks in the sky, and of course the full moon.   See this picture and this one for examples.

We spent the afternoon making our krathongs, each person showing their creative side and doing things a little different. (But clearly the Thai krathongs were much better than our first attempts).  At night, we loaded all the people and floats into the back of a pickup truck to drive down to the festival held near the river.  When we arrived, the parade was just starting.  I don’t think I’d ever seen a night time parade before, but it seemed fitting that the parade for the festival of light was being held at night.

Having four Americans in this small village in the north ended up causing a stir..  the Thais were calling out to us, and we could feel the curious stares from all directions.  At one point, we were even invited to be “in” the parade for being the only western guests in this village, but we declined.  Still, many people in the parade passing us were calling out to us, trying to start up a conversation in Thai, or offering us drinks (it seemed like most of the parade was drunk or drinking).  It was quite an experience.

In addition to floating krathongs on the river, and the parade, Loy Krathong is also known for fireworks and beauty contests.  There were various fireworks and firecrackers going off everywhere, there didn’t seem to be a central source, or even any laws controlling it.  Rockets, mortars, and explosions were coming from all around, and it felt a little unsafe at times!  But I didn’t see anybody get injured, which usually happens at our 4th of July celebrations.

One unusual type of “firework” is the floating sky lantern.  These are large tissue-paper lanterns that several people hold up, while a wax heater is lit at the bottom.  The light from the flame causes the entire lantern to glow brightly.  The lantern fills with hot air, and eventually the people can let go — the lantern will float slowly into the sky.  The candle burns for quite a long time, and the sky is filled with floating lights everywhere.  We could never have something like this in the USA, because there’d be houses burning down!  But it’s quite a site to witness.  Click here to see the lanterns being filled, and click here to see them taking off.

At the end of the night, we attended the local talent/beauty pageant.  Contests like this are held in every small town all around Thailand during Loy Krathong.   The contestants are first introduced during the parade, where they ride in parade floats that resemble giant krathongs.  Later, they demonstrate talents such as dancing and singing on the stage.  This year was special, because my sister-in-law was participating and she won 2nd place!

 Lighting a floating lantern:

One of our completed krathongs:

Riding in the pickup on the way to the parade:

My sister-in-law in her parade float:

Another contestant:

Local Thai ladies showing off their Krathongs:

The scene down at the river:

Lighting our krathongs:

To enter the temple, one can take a cable car, or climb all 309 marble steps (the equivalent of climbing 19 flights of stairs). Though the women quickly took the cable car, my new father in law called to us men and pointed at the steps. Maybe he wanted to challenge me, or maybe it’s supposed to provide a religious experience, I don’t know. But we became some of the few people climbing the stairs that day. On both sides of the stairs are giant Naga serpents, a snake-like spirit from the Buddhist religion, covered in small mirrored tiles.

At the top, the temple is similar to those we saw in Bangkok, all marble and gold. The difference here is the setting – perched 5500 feet from the city below, cool mountain air, and sky all around you. There are plenty of trees, plants, and birds.. much like a peaceful garden in contrast to the pollution and bustle in Bangkok. Occasionally interrupting the quiet are temple bells, which you can ring for good luck. There are also 6-foot gongs, but we didn’t ring those.

We take off our shoes and walk on the marble… Inside one room of the temple are a couple old monks sitting cross legged on the floor. We kneel on the floor and bow, and the monks chant a blessing. After he’s done, we sit up and he ties a white string (called sai sin) around each of our wrists. This string is supposed to carry his blessing, and we should wear it for at least 3 days. Some people keep them on until they fall off on their own – and that can take months!

After receiving our blessing, we are each given a flower, a candle, and some incense. We join a long train of people who are walking slowly around the large golden chedi in the center of the temple. We must walk around in silence five times, and each turn takes a couple minutes. Afterwards, the candle is used to light the incense, and the incense is used during prayer.

Click here for more temple photos, and here’s a closeup of the Naga serpents.

The steps to the temple (Naga serpents on both sides)

The temple bells (you can ring all of them for good luck)

The view of Chiang Mai from the top of Doi Suthep:

Standing in front of the large golden chedi:

The photos below are not for the squeamish.

Preston holding a bag of eels:

Live bullfrogs:

Some kind of fat, juicy grub:

Large grasshopper & scallions:

Charcoal-roasted bullfrog:

Some kind of large cockroach-like bug. Yes, those are rubberbands around their legs. Keeps them from running away before you can crunch down on them.

Bamboo grub worms (they same kind we ate at Khao San Road):

Various six-legged treats:

A large box swarming with thousands of crickets… It was disturbing just to look at this.

Though there were once over 100,000 elephants in Thailand, today there are only about 2,000 remaining. Since logging has been made illegal and much of their habitat is gone, the remaining elephants are struggling to survive. The asian elephant is now an endangered species and conservation efforts rely on tourism and donations to feed and care for the animals. To learn more about elephant conservation or to make a donation, click here.

One of the most famous of the elephant conservation camps is Mae Sa, near Chiang Mai. For a donation, we saw elephants playing soccer, dancing, throwing darts, playing music, and even painting. Then we took another elephant ride, this time through the hillside.

Today we will fly from Bangkok in the central of Thailand, to Chiang Mai in the north. Chiang Mai has under 150,000 people but is considered to be the capital of the north and the second most important city in Thailand. It was founded in 1296, and is known for being surrounded by both a moat and a wall. This was to protect against Burma of course, but did not acheive this goal, as the city was often occupied by the Burmese throughout its history.

We are travelling to Chaing Mai by air, via Thailand’s discount airline Nok Air. In Thai, นก (nok) means bird. And the planes are comically decorated this way:

Of course, “discount” has a whole new meaning in Thailand, and the base price of our first class tickets for this flight were $10 each. After taxes/fees/surcharges, our total came to $45 each. I can’t comment on the food, because our flight was too short for a meal, but the rest of the service didn’t feel discount at all.

Chiang Mai was a welcome change from Bangkok. Whereas Bangkok was hot, muggy, polluted, and congested, Chiang Mai was set in the mountains, beautiful scenery, 5-10 degrees cooler, and much more calm and relaxed. It’s no surprise that so many foreigners retire here. I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but the people are even more friendly and the prices are even cheaper than in Bangkok.

We checked into a garden resort outside of town. This too was a great contrast to our hotel in Bangkok. The grounds of the resort were large, and well maintained. The rooms are set into individual buildings with four rooms each. We paid about $37 per night.

300 years ago, Ayutthaya was a sprawling metropolis of 1 million people, golden palaces, and giant fortresses. 33 kings and 5 dynasties ruled here. The Grand Palace boasted seven major halls and pavilions, covered with gold leaf and mother-of-pearl.

It must have been quite a sight. But we had to use our imagination, because in 1767, the Burmese attacked and gained control over the city. To celebrate, they completely destroyed everything — levelled the city. This was a capital of over 1 million people, and only the ruins remain. Even the sacred Buddhist temples and statues were desecrated and burned to the ground. All of the gold was melted down and stolen.

When the Thai army finally defeated the Burmese and pushed them out of Thailand, the new capital was established two hours down river, at what eventually became Bangkok. Subsequent Thai kings based the construction of the new palace and temples on what they had lost in Ayutthaya.

We rode elephant-back around the city, and then explored on foot. Like many of the places we saw, these pictures don’t really do it justice.

Despite Lopburi’s historical significance, it’s known to many outsiders as simply “the monkey village”. This is due to the many macaque monkeys that permeate the center of town. These monkeys live in the abandoned ruins and temples and live off the food they steal from tourists and locals.

I was attracted to this city by the prospect of meeting curious monkeys face to face… a pretty cool opportunity I’ve never had in America. After all, monkeys are cute and funny.. Seems safe, right? Now that I’m back safely in the states, I did a little research on this particular monkey. It turns out, they are known carriers of the Ebola virus, Monkeypox, and Herpes B. If that wasn’t bad enough, they are also known for being unafraid of humans, often getting into aggressive conflicts with people.

Completely unaware of the danger, we hired a van and hit the highway with “Monkeys or bust” as our plan. We knew we we getting close when we started seeing monkey paraphernalia. Signs, statues, you name it, everywhere. Then we passed Monkey Mall. In Banana Square. Here’s a town that takes its monkeys seriously.

When we reached the center of town, it was a surreal sight. Monkeys as far as the eye can see… running through the street, climbing on buildings, swinging on powerlines.. The town was overrun by them. When cars stop at a red light, the monkeys jump on top. Joy says the monkeys have been known to board the train to the next town for a day’s monkey-business and then ride it back later. Having finally seen the area, I believe her. This is a scene straight from Planet of the Apes.

If you stay in a hotel in town, some will advertise their “monkey cage”. This isn’t something in your room… rather, it’s a cage around the outside of the building. This lets you walk around the hotel grounds or open your windows in peace. If your hotel doesn’t have a cage, you could wake up to a monkey in your room.

We walk towards an old temple in the center of town that’s home to several hundred critters. There are vendors selling both food and slingshots, I guess depending on how friendly you want to get with the stars in town. There are also bodyguards, with sticks and slingshots, that you can hire to protect you if you’re really helpless.

At first, we approach the monkeys cautiously. Do they bite? Scratch? It turns out, if you get close enough, they will immediately jump on you and start looking for food. And by “looking for food” I mean trying to run off with anything you might be wearing or holding. They even seem to work together, while one monkey jumps on your back to distract you, several more will approach from other angles, trying to make off with your camera and sunglasses. I’m sure the local villagers explore the monkey temple at night when the tourists leave and cash in from all the stolen loot.

As we were leaving, I noticed this sign. It seemed odd in Thailand… they’re not a litigious society like America, so you generally don’t see a lot of warning signs or anything designed for your safety. You’re pretty much on your own to make your own stupid mistakes. So it says a lot that the Thais would think enough to post this sign.

Khaosan Road is the place in Bangkok where tourists from all over the world go for a cot to sleep on, cheap food, and to book travel around asia. Many people backpack through Thailand on a shoestring budget, and Khaosan Road caters to those people.  Hotels here start at $5/night.  After dark it’s a party scene, with cheap alcohol and loud music. The locals are here with anything a tourist might want to buy, including clothes, tattoos, and hand carved wooden souvenirs. We all decide to do some shopping before dinner and pick up some t-shirts for ourselves and friends.

As usual, there are all sorts of street vendors selling rice and noodle dishes for under a dollar, but we chose walk down a back street instead until we found a quieter place with tables, chairs, waiters, and printed menus. At a nicer establishment like this, you can expect to pay $2-3 for a meal, which is extravagant by Thai standards.

Preston and I let Joy order a few things from the menu for us. In Thai dining, it’s customary to order various things for the center of the table that everybody shares. We both ordered a Thai beer to go with our meal. When the waiter asked if we wanted a large or small beer, we chose large, expecting him to bring a tall glass instead of a pint glass. What we really got were huge liter-size bottles.. but we were thankful for those once we started feeling the chili peppers from our dinner.

As you walk down the street, you can definitely tell you’re not in regular Bangkok. There are people of all shapes and sizes, different types of clothes, etc. and you hear many different languages and accents. Everybody you meet seems to be a world traveller with great stories, and we quickly make friends with a tall blond girl from Finland, an American who recently moved to Bangkok from Siberia, and a quiet local guy tagging along with them. Together, we agreed the first business to take care of was trying the infamous Thai bucket drinks.

For anyone unfamiliar with Thai bucket drinks, they are huge mixed drinks popular with Thai partygoers. You start with a large plastic bucket (Think sand castles on the beach), add some coke, some red bull, a whole bottle of Thai whiskey, and a handful of straws for all your friends to share. (This costs about $4) Our plan was to share a bucket, but by the end of the night we had shared four. And my memory for the rest of the night starts to get a little fuzzy.

One thing I do remember is a particular food stand that Joy took us to after the first bucket or two. This food stand had a tray of grubs, and a tray of grasshoppers. We all tried some, but they were much worse than I expected, and Joy ended up eating the rest of the bag we bought. I think that’s when I ended up drinking most of a bucket by myself in a failed attempt to get the taste of grubworms out of my mouth.

We also toured the grounds of the Grand Palace (or “Gland Palace” as Joy says it) , and the temple inside. After overloading our senses with all the ornate decorations, we took a ferry across the river and had lunch overlooking the water.

After our lunch, we found out Joy’s dad was visiting her Grandma in Bangkok, and that her Grandma would not be able to attend our wedding due to health problems.  So Joy and I decided to take everybody back to the hotel to rest while the two of us went to visit Grandma.

I wasn’t too worried about meeting Grandma, but I wasn’t sure what to expect from my father-in-law.  This would be the first time we met, despite Joy and I being married a year already.  Hopefully there was no resentment for taking his daughter away from this country and their family.  Joy warned me in advance, he’s normally very shy and quiet, and doesn’t speak English anyway, so he may be hard to read.

But first, we stopped by a grocery store to get a special health supplement for Grandma, made from the saliva nests of a particular Asian bird.  The Chinese (Joy’s Grandma is half Chinese) believe food made from these nests offers special health benefits.  Because of the difficulty collecting the nests, they are very expensive and Grandma cannot afford to buy them herself.  So this made a perfect gift for us to bring.

To get to Grandma’s house, we first had to take a long subway ride.  After we left the train station, Joy said only a motorcycle could take us deep into the part of the city we were headed… So we both hopped on the back of separate motorcycle taxis.  There were no helmets to be had, and the drivers looks like kids who hung out on the street and offered rides to locals for extra cash.  Flashbacks of all the crashes I saw went through my mind (including the one I caused).  But I resigned myself to the idea of getting a full Bangkok experience… why fly all the way here and then chicken out? Not to mention giving Americans a bad name.  If all the little kids and mothers holding their babies could handle the ride, so could I.

We began weaving through the city… the streets getting narrower as we went, finally turning to alleys and then sidewalks.  For 10 minutes, we went up and down, left and right, through this area, dodging dogs and people alike.  It’s hard to describe as there’s nothing like it in America.  Just dense inner city far from roads, a maze of buildings and structures packed close together for miles.  I took a moment to look around me and try to breathe it in… Riding through this place is something very few Thais probably do, much less American tourists (judging by the looks I was getting, many of them had probably never seen a caucasian).  This is the experience I was hoping to get when visiting Thailand… not just being in a new country, but a completely alien feeling that I would always remember.

When the motorcycles had taken us as far along as we could go, we paid them, and they drove off.. leaving us to walk the rest of the way.  Now we were really ducking through narrow passageways, finally walking along a small canal and across via a thin wooden plank.  When we finally drew near to Joy’s Grandma’s house, my fear of meeting them was gone.  The experience of getting there and standing in that place was so surreal, I could no longer be nervous.

As we entered the house, Joy ran to give a hug to her Grandma, who was very excited to see her again.  I think her father may have glanced in our direction, but that was about it.  By Joy’s reaction, I knew this was about as friendly has her dad gets, so I considered that a success.  Everybody sat down to talk.  (Well, they talked in Thai for an hour or so while I zoned out).

Finally, Joy told me her Grandma would like to give us our wedding blessing now, since her Grandma could not make it to the actual wedding.  We both knelt down on the tile floor, and bowed at Grandma’s feet.  She put her hands on our heads and spoke in a slow, calm and quiet voice with words of advice and blessings, for our married life together.  This is another moment that I felt quite honored to experience.  And it clearly made her Grandma happy to see us both together and speak to us before our wedding.

As we left her house, and started searching for motorcycles to take us back to the subway, I hoped that the bird’s nest supplements would help Grandma and we could spend more time visiting during our next trip.